doing everything else at least 50% of the time.

Food for Thought – Dieting for the Brain



I recently watched a great Tedx talk by Dr. Dimitri Christakis, a pediatrician and epidemiologist from Seattle who’s done an enormous amount of research in the effects of TV and media in children in their early development stages. In it, Dr. Christakis explains the various researches that have been conducted to explore the effects of brain stimulation as it relates to media, so lots of graphs, colorful pictures, and supporting data to shame the most careless and non-involved parents out there.

Out of his work, however, one thing really caught my eye. He likens media management to eating diets.

we ask parents to substitute quality programming for violent programming, much like they’d swap carrots for potato chips in their child’s lunch.

Then it hit me: I really need to start exercising again.

NOW WHAT, DOCTOR??? HUH?!?!?!

This is a subtle, but important, point and one I really believe to be the key to changing our habits related to screen consumption. If we can begin to look at media as a treat that only a healthy, developed mind deserves, in small doses and reasonable quantities, we can begin to “shape” our kids’ minds into healthy ones.

In order to see if this comparison would hold true in all accounts, I decided to inspect what the experts’ recommendations are for having healthy kids when it comes to eating habits. A quick search pointed me to “10 Tips for Parents,” offered by Dr. Mary L. Gavin on KidsHealth.org, which we will try to use here to fit our goals for healthy “screen diet.”

1. Parents control the supply lines.

We’re off to a good start. This is an easy one to port over to TV viewing, right? Parents should be at the helm of supplying the appropriate quantity and the proper quality of content to our young viewers. However, this is about EMPOWERING your children to make good choices and less about dictating when and how long they will interact with media. I am a true believer that kids will choose to experience all sorts of things if those choices are truly made available to them (and they are aware of it). Remember: it’s not just about cutting screen time, but increasing their opportunities to choose less screen time.

“I’d like to be a giant enabler.” – said no one ever. Actually, Darryl Hanna said it. Don’t be Darryl Hanna.

2. From the foods you offer, kids get to choose what they will eat or whether to eat at all

Didn’t I just say that? I’m brilliant! So, again, whatever media you make available for your child to consume, it’s important to give your children the feeling that THEY are making wise decisions when it comes to the quality of the content. By instilling this sense of responsibility in them at an early age, they will feel empowered to continue to make wise choices as they gain more control of their time.

3. Quit the “clean-plate club.”

This one might be a little tougher, but I’d like to think of this as a warning to parents who use TV and games as a way to occupy their kids while getting things done. If your child is aimlessly flipping channels and not directly engaged in learning opportunities that media has to offer, it’s time to turn it off! It is also a good gauge of how involved parents really are in their children’s viewing habits. If you don’t currently know how many minutes (yes, minutes) little Andy is sitting in front of ALL your devices on a daily basis, it’s time to change YOUR behavior.

4. Start them young.

Well, this couldn’t be any clearer. Screen time management becomes more important the younger the child is, so start creating a healthy framework EARLY. As I’ve stated here before, children under 2 should have between ZERO and ZERO minutes of screen time daily, so the expectations are very clear and easy to follow. Studies have shown that even background “viewing” is detrimental to their development. As they get older, it’s crucial to build healthy habits for them and for YOU, as a parent, and to build a balanced routine. Remember, content matters, too!

5. Rewrite the kids’ menu.

We’ve already covered here (hmm… actually, I think it was on my facebook page) that violent content before bed time disrupts a child’s ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. Beyond that, we fall into your personal choices for educational material, morals and values. My kids are currently addicted to Mythbusters and Phineas and Ferb; each with its own benefits. Again, making a variety of media available and talking about how you feel about these shows in a positive way will give your children the cognitive tools to decide for themselves later.

The platypus is a semi-aquatic mammal; the only mammal to lay eggs instead of giving birth. Thanks, Perry!

6. Drink calories count &

7. Put sweets in their place.

I’m combining these two as they are pretty similar and fall under the same category for our purposes. Screen time is obviously not limited to TV time. The average American home today contains a plethora of media alternatives for kids, including smart phones, console games, tablets, handheld gaming units, computers, laptops, and portable DVD players (our almost-3-year-old is frighteningly proficient in operating most of these devices). You must include all of these when managing your allowances and all recommendations on content also apply.

8. Food is not love.

Hmm, this one is tough. We use screen time as a reward all the time in our home and I encourage parents to do the same. This works two-fold: first, it validates to them that this activity is secondary to their mental and physical development. Second, it motivates the parent to be actively aware of time spent and to also be involved during screen sessions. So food is not love, but screen time is.

9. Kids do as you do.

For better or for worse, right? When I get home from work and my kids are watching TV or playing video games, I often head over to our play area and start kicking a ball or shooting a hockey puck against the wall. Pretty soon the little rascals come joining in and forget about screens (at least for a bit). Turning off the screen is not enough, as reported in this article. Kids need to be motivated to get involved in physical activities. This isn’t really an issue of screen time. If your kid spent all day reading books, you would end up with the same health concerns.

Seriously, your inability to get motivated is literally hurting your children.

10. Limit TV and computer time

Ok, we’re beginning to sound redundant now. Movies, video games and TV shows are valuable tools for learning and entertainment and should be viewed as friends, not foe. The idea is to arm your children with the knowledge and disposition to make wise choices and maintain a balanced diet of electronic media in their lives. The more YOU do now by being actively involved, the less likely they will be to build a dependency on it. The Attention Span generation just needs, well, a little attention.

Parenting, Screen Time    , , , ,

A Bolt from the Blue Reviewed



It’s been 9 years since my little lightning accident on top of the Grand, so I thought it would be fitting to read a well-researched, detailed account of the accident to, you know, stir up all those great memories and help me once again relive the day.

“Tell me, doc, do you think this is at all related to my obsession with Eminem?”

It’s weird reading an account of a part of your life by someone who doesn’t really know you. Jennifer (the author) did a tremendous job in her research and took immense care to give credit to the rangers. I learned a lot of details I didn’t previously know and it made me really appreciate the whole thing even more.

The best part of it was how she was able to expose the underbelly of some of the people involved as they described their fears and anxieties during the rescue. Amazingly, even in the midst of all the tension, they remained a cohesive group who were able to execute highly calculated feats of bravery and determination to save lives, mine included.

Nonetheless, reading the detailed account really took me back yesterday to a day I was pretty certain I didn’t want to relive. I started reading it at 9pm and finished at 545am. I spent the day wallowing in sorrow, guilt, self-pity, and a bit of a stomachache from Olive Garden’s Never Ending Pasta Bowl from the day before. I have always felt the heavy weight of inadequacy that comes with owing someone, or in this case about 150 people, your life and never finding a way to repay them and today those thoughts were once again front and center of everything else.

So I got to writing a few emails to a few people in search of some comfort, including pilot Laurence Perry, whom I had the pleasure to meet shortly after coming home from the hospital. From what I understand doing a little research online, Laurence is the best damn helicopter pilot in the world. Ever. And on top of that he speaks with a British accent. I’ve always been a little cautious to interact with those guys for fear of coming across obsessively appreciative for what they did. As they’ve expressed to me before, they did their job and I shouldn’t feel like I owe them anything.

Every time I think of a Jenny Lake ranger.

But I do and there’s no way of getting around that. And the truth is, there is no way of repaying someone who saved your life. When people risk their own lives to save yours, they essentially blessed you and cursed you all at the same time. If you are any kind of an ethical person, you will come out of it with an increased sense of responsibility to pay it forward; to really make a difference in the world. And that’s a lot of pressure. Needless to say, my gratitude for still being here with my family supersedes any of this, but I need to acknowledge it nonetheless so I can properly deal with it with my insurance company.

My email to Laurence was short and succinct. After all these years and only having communicated with him once, I just wanted to let him know I still think about him and how grateful I am for what he and the others did. I received a reply a few hours later. It was a long, heartfelt email and it meant the world to me. I won’t disclose all that was said here, but he expressed how he has never forgotten me and how touched he was when we met after the accident, where I made sure he met my wife and son (Kai then only 6 months old) and what the worth of his efforts really were. He expressed genuine excitement in meeting me again and sharing a drink and a chat in the near future. He even offered to come visit us at our home.

Stupid allergy season… er… in September.

My children still don’t really grasp the significance of that day and their importance in it, but when Jody and I were in the kitchen talking about the book, Brennan innocently asked

“So, are we famous, dad?”

I chuckled and said, “yes, of course we are! But not because of this.” We know who deserves the honors and fame in this case, and ironically, they are the ones who desire it the least. That group of men and women are some of the most humble individuals I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet and they really do what they do for the love of the job and the impact it has. Some of them (most of them) are seasonal workers who struggle to find off-season jobs just so they can come back and do it again next year.

I feel a lot better today after reconnecting with those guys and feeling like I’ve been a small part of their lives, at least as much as a fraction of what they’ve meant to me all these years. I’m looking forward to meeting them again soon under much better circumstances.

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Why I Let My Kids Play With Guns



Let me quickly state that I’m talking about toy guns here, before my wife reads this.

I don’t own a real gun (well, I might BURGLARS! You never know), but if I did, for whatever reason, I find it even more important to approach play time as an educational opportunity for kids.

If you’re still considering robbing me, I’m this guy.

My 3 boys all share a kindred appreciation for gun play. Reminiscent of Spaceman Spiff, they go on adventures, almost daily, of dangerous encounters with aliens, monsters, and bad guys. They dart across the living room zinging and pffffing and, every once in a while, one of them will fall dead on the carpet, apparently wounded by return fire.

They own several pieces of weaponry, from cheap, gas station bought, wooden rubber band guns, to more sophisticated Nerf guns with pump actions or reloadable barrels. They’ll shoot each other mercilessly and sometimes they’ll even turn their arsenal on me just to quickly find out I’m made of metal and, therefore, invincible. They then quickly chase the 2yo.

“Your weapons are worthless against them!” HAHA That’s from Tommy Boy!

During all this, my wife is cringing every time someone gets “shot” and is writhing in pain on the floor.

“Why are they so violent?” she asks.

I, too, remember being attracted to guns and war waging at a young age. I grew up without my dad around and guns weren’t very high on my mom’s list of items I needed for school, but I would fashion a weapon out of anything; a shoe would become either a hand gun or a ninja star, the broom handle a staff or even nun-chucks, with a little sawing.

It was natural and I wasn’t alone. All my friends did some sort of martial art between the eras of Bruce Lee and Daniel Larusso and we were always beating each other up. Anecdotically, none of us became sociopathic murderers.

Don’t lie. You thought it was cool, too.

But our world is a little different now. With TV and video games providing a stage writ with gun violence and gore, parents are quicker to react to their children playing sniper. We also hear horrible accounts of accidental deaths related to kids playing with unsecured and unsupervised guns. But rest assured your kids won’t turn into criminals by playing pretend.

No studies have ever linked gunplay to violent behavior later in life. Parents who put a lot of emphasis on it might actually be creating tension that otherwise would not exist in your child’s imaginative mind. Acknowledging that their behavior is part of a fantasy world, you help create the distinction between reality and play.

As for my kids, we still let them play. They play guns the same way they play wrestling or boxing. They understand their limits and they respect the limits of their siblings. They also understand the consequences of when they cross certain lines of safety and respect.

Needless to say, a healthy dose of gun safety education accompanied by age-appropriate understanding of the consequences of misuse of real guns only serve to help your child be more confident in the real world of violence.

Day to Day    , ,

There’s Hope



I woke up this morning to a mumbling 9yo with a sour face. He’s already stressing about going back to school in 2 weeks and is definitely expressing those feelings in many different ways.

One of the ways he chose to do it is to criticize himself. He just finished Art Camp and brought home some incredible work of which he was really proud yesterday, but today apparently his art “sucks!”

It’s a dead tree. Should I be worried?

He also went on mumbling about how he’s not really good at soccer and is not looking forward to the new season starting next week.

Meanwhile, Brennan (the 5yo flower child) is munching on his cereal with an absent-minded look about him, as 5yo’s do most of the time. Out of our 3 boys, Brennan is definitely the one who displays the most affection, both physically and with words. Not to say the others don’t. Easton is definitely following in his footsteps with cuddles, hugs and kisses galore, but Kai has always been on the more reserved side. He’s a little more hands off when it comes to physical displays of affection. He shows you he loves you a lot more by his actions.

Here dad, I love you. Let me fix the roof for ya!

Kai plops down at the table with his breakfast of choice at hand while I’m trying to conjure up some words of wisdom to motivate him and take some of the crankiness away, when Brennan out of left field chimes in with “I think Kai’s art was awesome and I think he’s great at soccer!” with a smile on his face that could disarm a Fort Knox deadbolt. I sit there waiting for a response and the two just start laughing really hard, milk spilling out from Brennan’s mouth.

I gave Brennan kudos for helping his brother feel better about himself and Kai reluctantly but genuinely returned compliments (apparently being crazy at the Plasma car is a good thing about Brennan).

We try really hard to foster a loving relationship between the siblings. I stress to them how important their camaraderie is and will continue to be later in life, when things might get a little tougher and they might need to help each other. It’s hard to gauge how these deeper subjects sync in with Elementary-age children, but moments like this one really reinforce in me the idea that they do understand things at some level.

I would do a disservice to you if I didn’t add that you can and should use media to point out similar behavior. A child may overlook deeper meanings in a movie or show about brotherhood/sisterhood if an adult doesn’t take the time to highlight the subject, so take the opportunity to talk to your children about it (yes! pause the movie and point it out).

Of course, it won’t be long today until they’re beating each other with a stick and driving their mother crazy, but hopefully those will be left behind when they grow up and the good stuff will stick.

Parenting    , , ,

The Numbers



I didn’t want to make this blog purely about stats and try to use them as scare tactics. Humans are inherently bad at putting certain numbers in perspective and the amount of studies that have been coming out on this topic is beginning to bog down even the most interested parties. Really, do you know how many jelly beans are in this jar? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

That’s a trick question! Those are M&M’s!

But I would like to lay down a foundation for understanding the current landscape, where we were a few years ago, and where we’re headed as technology advances and becomes more and more integrated into our lives.

You can skim over the sections if you’d like to get an idea but I’ll post links to relevant studies for those who like this sort of thing (yeah, you spinning your pen between your thumb and middle finger).

Psychological

There is a range of psychological influences screen time has on children and teenagers for better or worse. The simplest form of evidence for this is the fact that companies invest billions of dollars every year on television ads betting on the effect they will have on our kids (and surprisingly that amount is increasing every year, even given the rise in other media). At the end of last year, Forbes reported that those numbers will be overtaken by online advertising by 2016.

Early tv exposure has been shown to link to various attention disorders, increased violence, self-esteem problems in teens. The list goes on and on. Just like the number of times I’ve had to ask my wife where my wallet is.

What??? My kids bought it for me!

Physical

The most prevalent effect of a sedentary child who does nothing but watch tv is obesity. The numbers vary, but even if you’re very conservative in your calculations they’re still startling. Kids are spending upwards of 7 hours on entertainment media, 4.5 hours watching TV and over 2 hours on computer and video games. That’s in ONE DAY (you need to add them together, divide by 3, and carry over the 1).

TV ads for fast food don’t help and the same junk food makes its way to the couch while children are busy in front of the screen. If you’ve seen my children in front of Mythbusters, you’d know what I’m talking about.

Other risks also increase with increased screen time like chance of a heart attack and stroke, problems sleeping, and an increased fondness for the Kardashians.

I totally found this photo on the web labeled “Kardashians Childhood.”

Social

I’ve read numerous opinions on this subject but the scientific studies are a bit thin. There’s no doubt that the current generation is a lot more involved socially through technology than mine even was. It is also obvious that the way people interact online is very different than the way they would act in front of a real breathing person, for better or worse. The level of perceived (this is very important) anonymity that people feel online can lead to more of what we’d call knee-jerk speech where the norms of diplomacy and courtesy are chased off a cliff.

We all know what happens next.

Is it all bad?!?!?! Of course not!

I am a highly trained technologian (I think I just made that up) and I’d be a hypocrite to suggest we’d get rid of the evil machines that are slowly taking over our lives and will one day rule the world forever. That’s just a plot for half of Arnold Schwartzenegger’s movies.

Kids can learn a lot from tv, music, games and all other forms of media. My own children are obsessed with certain tv shows, they certainly love video games, and they’re even taking an interest on the web now (if you haven’t met them, head over here).

What To DOOO?!?!

The American Academy of Pediatrics has refined their guidelines over and over and reinforced some basic concepts when it comes to managing screen time. I’ll link to their list on Kid’s Health, but I’d like to highlight some of the most interesting points:

  • kids under age 2 have no screen time, and that kids older than 2 watch no more than 1 to 2 hours a day of quality programming
  • set screen time limits

That’s it. Those are the most important things.

So how do you do that?

Hmm. Nah! (click image if you don’t know who this is)

There is an emerging concept that is key to transforming your children’s screen habits. It is something we’ve been implementing with our children and it has completely changed the way they watch tv and play video games.

With the advances in technology we are able to access media from several different sources in several different ways. Gone should be the days of turning on the tv and flipping through channels in hope of catching something good. From digital recorders to shows on demand, we are moving from passive media interactions to proactive ones.

What does that mean?

It means there is a purpose to every interaction your children make with media.

If they want to watch a show (and they have enough screen minutes available), watch it with them. Take the time to discuss the show during and after to extract any meaning from characters, activities, morals, etc. If you can’t sit with them, preview the show prior to their watching it so you can still take time to talk about it.

Don’t be afraid to direct their interests, too! If they want to watch something that is mundane and worthless, bring up something of value. You have the internet at your disposal and there are tons of sites that offer great kids content (I’ll link to some of our favorites on the side bar). Take the Olympics for example. The most fun we have watching them is actually acting out the sports in our own living room. We’ve had rowing competitions, long jumps, high jump on the couch and we’ve even made up our own games.

Lastly and most importantly, do not underestimate the abilities of a bored child to come up with something to do.

This kid is NOT bored.

Dependent on age, provide your child with a rich and safe environment of toys, book, music, and, if possible, plenty of outdoor area. Yes, tv CAN be entertaining, but your child will gain a lot by going outside and watching an anthill or trying to walk on the curb.

Kids are amazingly creative and their thirst for knowledge will lead them to discover the most amazing things from stuff we might find mundane, if we just give them the chance.

Screen Time    , , ,

Time is Money



As of September of last year, the wife and I began budgeting our finances in a very strict manner. I mean, really strict. I even kept track of the money I spent at the quarter vending machine at work.

25 cent vending machine. I think my company is evil.

To make things easier, we decided that, for a while, we’d only make purchases from one source of payment: our debit card. If we didn’t have the money, we wouldn’t spend it.

Once we knew exactly where our money was going each month, we decided to start spending less than we were making. I know this all sounds craaaaazy but just go with it. This next thing might blow your mind.

Once that was all done, we started saving for the things we wanted. Huh? Now you see where this is going, right?

I was surprised to find out that this is really how most people manage their money but two things happened from this little exercise in common financial sense: we started buying less stuff we didn’t really need and our savings increased. I know. I should write a book about this incredible concept. It’s revolutionizing.

I knew I should’ve bought my Bumper Dumper before this whole mess started.

As much as this is clear to most people, the same exact mentality applies to screen time and children, but the current state of affairs indicates that we’re not so careful with our little ones’ finances (their brain cells) as we are with our real money.

Most parents would be pressed to admit to the fact that, when their kids are engaged in watching a tv show or playing a video game, they are put in that position most of the time by these 3 common reasons:

  • complacency: the tv is just on all the time and they can choose to watch it;
  • diversion: I know, I know. You need a break sometimes. You have a zillion things to do. A movie is 2 hours worth of work you can get done!
  • nagging: kids can be pests sometimes. If they ask enough, you’ll break. I’ve seen it happen.
One of the biggest detriments to this lack of time management, aside from the obvious, is that the parents themselves are not engaged with their children during media consumption and missing out on the main reason the child should be engaged in the first place: education.

There are three very simple ways to accomplish a healthy tv and gaming lifestyle for your children that mimics the advice of most financial wizards:

Budget

A budget is a way of keeping track of a predetermined amount of spending that you plan on doing. In terms of screen time, this translates to the amount of minutes you, as a parent, allow your children to spend in front of a screen.

Your first step then to managing your kids’ viewing habits is by introducing a clear budget of time, for example 1 hour a day, 12 hours a week, 1 hour in the morning and 30 minutes before Pumpkin Hour™ and so on.

Create a daily chart for the fridge or stick it to the TV/laptop for your kids to see. Kids love rules (they really do) and will thrive if they understand when and how long they can be on.

Expectation

As your children understand the limits on screen time by which they are bound, talk to them about why these new rules are in place. You don’t have to bog them down with numbers and statistics about obesity or attention disorders, but focus on things they can relate to their own lives. A child who watches too much tv might have trouble sleeping which will lead to a poor test the next day.

It’s important to help them understand you’re not just being a controlling jerk but you’re taking your job as a parent seriously enough to be concerned about their health and development.

Outcome

As I mentioned with our real budget, our purchasing behavior changed once we understood that the plum tree in the frontyard wasn’t going to suddenly start producing bling. The same has happened with our kids in terms of their screen time.

They know that Myth Busters is a 40-minute long show without commercials (more about that on a later post), so they take that into account when deciding what to watch. If they only have an hour left for the day, they won’t ask to watch a full-length movie because heaven forbid they miss Myth Busters and I have to hear about it for the rest of the night.

So you can start today by talking to your kids about what’s coming down the pipe. Prepare them by letting them know that you want to stop yelling at them to “turn off the tv” or hearing “let me just finish this level” because you’re going insane and you’ve actually contemplated sending them to live with Gram Gram for a year or two. But you want to do it tactfully. I’m sure there’s another blog that talks about that.

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A Bolt from the Blue



Jennifer Woodlief’s book “A Bolt from the Blue” has just been released on Amazon.
Jennifer is a former Sports Illustrated reporter and writes compelling narratives around real events like the lightning that struck our climbing party in 2003 on top of the Grand Teton.

The book stays true to the events that day and gives an amazing insight into the lives of the great men and women who were part of the rescue team (Jenny Lake Rangers) and to whom I am indebted with my life.

Thanks, Jennifer, for writing such a beautiful account of one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to endure.

Review